people ask what do you want to be
when you grow up... i've always wanted to be a
mom. i've never been very
career driven because nothing would give me greater joy than to be able to stay home with my kids. when wes and i found out we were pregnant we had several talks about whether or not staying home would be an option. its important to both of us that our kids are raised by their parents, not a nanny or a daycare worker, so we decided that i would stay home for as long as financially possible. lets be honest, daycare is crazy expensive. and God is our
ultimate provider anyways so why worry.
Graham Henry Cate is here, finally! and our lives have totally changed... in a good way. it has been three weeks since the
arrival of our little boy. he was born wednesday, June 10 at 7:16pm at 7pounds 6ounces and 20 inches long. the entire labor/childbirth experience was totally surreal, but no amount of babysitting or stories from other people can fully prepare you for your
first baby. i am however so thankful for those years of
babysitting. i can only imagine how much more stressful coming home after the hospital would be if both wes and i had no experience holding an infant, changing a diaper, giving a bottle, putting clothes on, etc. we are slowly adjusting to this
new life and our new roles as parents. the amount of things you learn in such a short time is kind of mind blowing, but you figure it out because he
needs us. graham is totally dependent on us to take care of him, thats both scary and awesome.
now, the
birth story. i promise i'll keep the TMI stuff to a minimum, mostly for my dad's sake. ha!
tuesday morning... june 9th... i had my 38 week appointment. everything went well. happy, healthy baby boy. i was 2.5cm dilated and about 50% effaced. as i was leaving my OB said, "see you next week, unless i see you sooner" and winked. that evening my mom was in town so we were hanging out watching tv, she was sitting on the couch and i was bouncing on a
yoga ball trying to help induce labor. i
jokingly said, "wouldn't it be funny if my
water broke tonight, you're already here so that would be perfect." well it did. at 3:30 wednesday morning i rolled over in bed and thought i peed myself, just a little, but enough to know what was happening. i could hardly notice my contractions so i decided to take a shower before heading to the hospital. i called the doctor to let them know my water broke and they said to come in.
we arrived to community north around 6 o'clock... clearly we took our time. i was
admitted and got hooked up to the monitors to check on baby and see how far apart my contractions were. i was also tested to confirm that my water did break... because when i was examined the nurse said she could still feel the bag of water. after about twenty minutes of waiting on the results, the nurse poked her head in the door and said, "how about
we have a baby today, the test was
positive!" woo! here we go!
wes and i were moved to our "suite" where we would be for the rest of our stay. it was about 7 o'clock now. we met our nurse, peggy, who would be taking care of me and helping to
deliver graham. peggy said why don't you guys go walk for 40 minutes and then we will monitor for 20 minutes. and repeat. my
contractions were slowly getting worse as the day went on, but were not unbearable by any means. i hardly looked like i was in
labor while wes and i were doing laps around the labor and delivery unit. one of the nurses actually said, "you look too happy to be in labor." also there was a nurse eating tater tots with a pile of ketchup and i wanted it so bad. i was already hungry. after three sets of
walking and monitoring, i was reexamined. 3cm... EXCUSE ME. what! when i arrived that morning i was 2.5cm, i progressed a half cm to 3cm in four hours. bummer! peggy called my OB who was in surgery and let her know how things were going... or not going really. from what i understand things were not moving along very quickly because my water had not broken all the way, it was only
leaking, so graham's head wasn't low enough to put enough pressure on my cervix to dilate.
dr. pierce put me on
pitocin, this was around 11:30am. and every half hour peggy would come and increase the dose. sarcastic yay. i laid in bed, contractions getting worse, waiting for my doc to come and check on my
progress. around 12:30 she finally made it in,
broke my water the rest of the way and checked my cervix. the water breaking experience was so weird... so much water. i'm kind of glad i only had a leak when i rolled over in bed or else we would've needed a new mattress. ha! i was now 4cm and about 90% effaced. i remember thinking
good grief, that's it. well within the hour the mood
drastically changed and i started to feel like i was actually in labor. the pain everyone talks about had begun to set in. with the pitocin being cranked up and my water bag out of the way, i could really feeling those contractions.
i stuck it out for about three hours or so before i could not handle it any longer. i asked for an
epidural. i had no idea how close i was to pushing, it had been 12 hours since i woke up at home, and i was so exhausted i would've passed out if it weren't for the pain. wes was a
trooper watching me struggle through it. he tried helping in anyway possible... rubbing my back, getting me ice chips, etc. but i caved and it was a
good decision. i don't regret trying to do it without the epidural and i don't regret getting it. i now know what labor feels like, i don't know what pushing feels like without an epidural, but i don't care to. after i got the epidural i was checked again... 5cm. with the pain subsiding my body was able to
relax, i watched HGTV, and i'm pretty sure i fell asleep for a little bit.
about two hours later, my OB came to check my cervix again. her shift was close to an end and she really wanted to deliver my baby. she said, "wouldn't it be awesome if you were 10 cm. then we could push this baby out before i leave." she looked at peggy and said she's
ready. yes! my doctor went to do a circumcision and said she would be back to catch him. so with peggy holding one leg and wes holding the other, the
pushing began. since everything was numb it was hard to pin point where to focus the pushing, i feel like i was going to pop a blood vessel in my face. peggy told me to push like you're going to poop. TMI? sorry. dr. pierce came back and graham's head was close to coming out. i pushed with every contraction and in between the four of us talked about our favorite places to eat and food we liked. i was so
hungry, it was almost mean. haha! after about an hour, graham arrived at 7:16pm on June 10th.
there were a few minor
complications after he came out. my doctor cut the cord and graham was taken to the heat lamp. and then she told wes to go take
pictures of graham so they could focus on me. i had a small tear, was bleeding a little more than normal, and had some pretty large clots pulled out. i had no idea... couldn't feel it, couldn't see it. i was just staring at my beautiful
baby boy across the room. there are no words to describe that moment when your baby enters this world and takes their first breath of air, you hear them cry for the first time, see their face for the first time. there is
so much love. and its automatic. i loved the idea of having a baby, then got pregnant and was beyond excited. but the amount of joy i felt when he finally arrived was astounding... my heart is so full.
after things settled down, we let our family back to
meet graham. and for the next two days people came to meet our handsome little man. he is so very
loved already. those three days we were in the hospital felt like a week and flew by at the same time. between the nursing staff in and out and all his visitors we hardly slept. and when it was the three of us, we were on such high alert for every little noise he made. the bed was
uncomfortable, my tailbone was so sore, i was recovering, trying to get the hang of breastfeeding, really sleep deprived, and was so ready to be home in my own bed. after his 48 hour check on friday we were discharged and sent into the world as parents for the first time. so many
unknowns.
now, a month later, we are
adjusting to our new normal. breastfeeding is starting to get easier. i was very close to giving up, so glad i didn't. he's gaining weight now! he eats every two to three hours, sometimes he goes every four or five hours at night. he's in size one diapers because his pee fills the
newborn diapers and then some. i was not prepared for the amount of diapers and wipes we would go through... they say a lot, but it is like
really a lot. his umbilical cord finally fell off and in its place a cute, clean belly button! he's had his first real bath and loved it until he got out and was cold. his fingernails grow like weeds so i have to trim them at least once a week. he smiles in his sleep all the time...still waiting for that smile just for me. he
loves his hands up by his face. and absolutely loves to be
swaddled. he is
perfect. i love him to pieces!
cleo is adjusting WAY better than i ever thought she would. the first night was not good... she hissed at him twice. but in her defense, she had three very rough days. wes and i left in the middle of the night and were gone while other people came in and out of the apartment. she
slept on my head the first night we were home. i moved her when i woke up to nurse him and i think she was just very
confused. she got kicked out of our room for two weeks while she got used to the idea of him and now she back to sleeping with us. i'm so happy with her
progress. she keeps a cautious distance most of the time, but is still curious. she will climb into my lap and lay with us when i'm holding him. i love it, i get to snuggle my baby and furbaby.
i can't believe it has already been a month!
happy mommy. i love my little
family.
